Is there really a market out there for a Universal Studios theme park? I mean, when you have Woody Woodpecker as your spokesman, it really screams “Bottom of the barrel, you’re about to be scraped”. Don’t even get me started on the supporting cast, with such platinum hits as Chilly Willy, Sami the talking dolphin and Shrek. It’s like they’re not even trying. I mean, in the parking lot they play you the Star Wars theme over and over and over and over, it gets the geek juices flowing, you’re ready to go see what rides they’ve built with the license, maybe catch a stormtrooper or two, and hope there’s a hot chick inside the suit. Once inside, however, you’re confronted by the sad truth, which may or may not involve Shrek in a safari outfit.

Oh, right. It did.

The roller-coaster wasn’t even great. Good, yes, but I still want my $34 back. (Until I get a keyboard with a euro sign, it’s all dollars, baby!)