Made in England
I know I’m a couple of days late in our non-verbal update agreement, in which we’ve tacitally negotiated that I would post something new every week, and you can come and read it whenever you want. Or not come and read it, which is also fine by me, and true for about 99 comma a-bunch-of-nines % of the population of the so-called internets. Which is, like, totally cool in my book. In any case, I just got off a 70-hour work week, which is like a “Get Out Of Jail Free” card, except there’s no jail, and there’s no card…
Ahem.
If I had to describe last week in a word, without using “Work”, it would be “Beer”, because any major piece of work that goes under in my office is usually undertaken by an arbitrarily large troupe of rowdy englishmen, which, if asked to describe their lives in three words, would go “beer, football, and, um, can I say beer again?”. Company-sponsored beer, no less, up to three per meal, per person. A limit that’s frequently forgotten, as one colleague relates: “I think the bank has saved like $1,000 on my meals, since I always forget about the three-beer limit and end up having to pay the tab from me pocket”. “Wankers”, I say, and wonder how many people I know would kill for a job that allows you to drink six beers a day, on company dough.
After three beers, englishmen tend to forget the basic rules of foreign country behaviour, like if the girl next to you doesn’t speak english, it’s better to leave her alone instead of giving her ye ol’ “Holah, comoh estahs?” over, and over, and over again. Or pretending that you know how to say “Ensalada de Aguacate”. To all english-speakers: it doesn’t matter if you took those three months of spanish in high school about 15 years ago, they still won’t get what you’re saying, and the only reason they don’ tell you to fuck off is because they know less english than you do spanish. I think you’d probably have more luck fishing for american girls and going “table”, “bottle” with an english accent. The highlight of the night, however, came during a visit to a jazz club. During a particularly interesting solo, the bass player decided to go into the main riff from “Smoke on the Water”, complete with root-fifth power chords, while doing something that could only be interpreted as headbanging. Never one to not rise to the occasion, I did what was proper and threw twin devil horns into the air and went “WOOOO!”.
And everybody stared at me like I had just passed gas during a funeral service.
-”You guys do realize that’s Smoke on the Water, right?”
-”Yes, but this is a jazz concert, mate.”
-”Jazz concert or not, somebody plays Smoke on the Water, you throw devil horns and scream, or God kills a kitten.”
-”You’re weird. I need another beer. Bugger me, that’s me fourth! Now I have to pay it from me own pocket!”
-”You do realize you can ask for a split bill, right?”
-”Nah, that’s not proper.”
A friend once said that europeans are weird. And not “Ha-ha” weird, just… odd. Not a day goes by that I don’t remember his words, and throw devil horns at people, just because it’s the proper thing to do.
Chase Ransom wrote:
To understand how different or “weird” europeans are, all it takes is to watch the House of Commons discussions on C-Span (no, I dont have a life).
Basically it’s every angry english dude yelling at the prime minister and trying to make him and his party look like crap. It is more entertaining that wrestling I tell you (not that that is much of an endorsement).
Brits are weird but in a cool/proper kind of way. The rest of Europe is (in my opinion) quite distinct per region/country. Spaniards are a certain way, versus French, versus Germans (and in Germans all the other tall, white blondes = swedes, czecs, etc - even iceland) Then there the ex-USSR nations which are just permanently depressed or desperate.
Hands down, the weirdest of all are the Germans. Ever wathced German TV? That bit on Saturday Night Live by Mike Myers called Sprockets was no exageration let me tell you. More evidence of weird? Lederhosen.
Must be all that brilliance that makes them so weird.
F it.
Posted 22 Jun 2005 at 11:37 pm ¶
Johann wrote:
I would indeed kill for a job where beer comes into the day to day equation. Man to be honest they could probably just pay me in beers and keep me happy. I sure as hell spent more than i should on the bottle. By the way Herrera came up with some very good tequila reposado. Just when i had given up on the idea of getting decent tequila on this god forgotten place i get to the usual bar and bam ,there it is good tequila. Tell your UK friends to drink a few of those and you will see really odd behavior. If i learned something about drinking with people in Europe is that they don´t drink tequila and wake up to talk about it. They sure as hell are an odd crew, but it get worse with half breeds like myself. My brother is concidered ecuadorian, my father german but my sister and I are just plain misbehaved jews.
Posted 22 Jun 2005 at 11:38 pm ¶
alvarete wrote:
The other day I was introduced to a bunch of swedes. Until proven otherwise, I hereby posit swedish chicks to be the hottest women on earth.
Posted 23 Jun 2005 at 4:01 pm ¶
dorothy hale wrote:
Deep Purple in a jazz concert may be weird…but is also damn cool jaja….
thanx for making me smile in this obnoxious morning ;)
Posted 23 Jun 2005 at 4:54 pm ¶
Blind Willie wrote:
Ever heard 60’s Purple? Doesn’t sound at all like the 70’s group I’m not saying is better, because it’s not, but it’s cool and very jazzy also.
Posted 23 Jun 2005 at 7:09 pm ¶
Chase Ransom wrote:
Swedish chicks the hottest? Meditate on this I will.
I recognize the historical importance of Deep Purple, but quite frankly I dont dig them that much. For that matter I would rather dig up a more obscure but tastier source of music. Try on some T. Rex for size.
“Well you’re dirty and sweet, clad in Black, don’t look back, and I love you. You’re dirty and sweet oh yeah”
T. Rex - from Get it On (Bang a Gong)
If you havent been exposed to TRex I recommend it. Marc Bolan has talent, and definitely inspired alot of the guys we listened to in the 80’s and early 90’s.
F it.
Posted 24 Jun 2005 at 1:27 pm ¶
Blind Willie wrote:
I do dig T-Rex, I listened to it as a child because my cousin had that album (Electric Warrior), but I downloaded about a year ago a few songs, and I still think they’re sound is pretty sweet.
Swedish you say? Haven’t met any yet. I always thought Italian girls were supposed to be the pinnacle of European beauty.
On the other hand, it maybe cliched, but Colombia is truly the land of the blessed. Freakishly gorgeous bodies with insane curves, right out of the deepest regions of Hell itself. It’s just stupid. There must be something in the Medellin environment, seriously, because it seems one out of every other 10 women are borned with this all around gifted bodies.
Posted 24 Jun 2005 at 4:10 pm ¶
Blind Willie wrote:
Sorry, I meant “their sound”.
Posted 24 Jun 2005 at 4:56 pm ¶
Chalito wrote:
All this talk about Sweedish chicks brings me back to my childhood, hidding from my parents to watch Porky’s(at first I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t see it….keep in mind I thought this was a real people movie of porky the pig)….damn, that Inga was freeeking hot!
About T-Rex, I haven’t heard to much from them, yet I know how important and influential their music has been, almost every descent british rocker today includes them in their top5 influences along with the beatles, pistols and stone roses. Unfortunately, I’ll have to wait for my next yearly trip (2006) to buy some of that.
Finally, going back to the chicks argument, I don’t believe girls from the northen countries are the hotest, they are by far the most perfect physically speaking, yet they lack that sexiness flavor that Italians or even colombians have…
Still, I take Inga anyday!
Posted 24 Jun 2005 at 6:57 pm ¶
alvarete wrote:
Chalito can now be officially quoted as saying “Still, I take pInga everyday!”
All that George Michael loving was a dead giveaway, that’s for sure.
Posted 24 Jun 2005 at 10:17 pm ¶
Chase Ransom wrote:
Prediction: Chalito in 5 years is living on South Beach with a hairy chested cuban called Ramon that goes by the stage name “Jacinta”.
Saw Batman Begins this weekend and without a doubt, its the best of the series. I dont know why everybody thinks so highly of the first Batman with Keaton in it. I thought it was a little lame.
Although I have somewhat of a beef with the extreme camera movement during the action sequences, this movie is way superior to the others. The cast fits, the plot is good, the villains are good, I was already SICK of the stereotypical bat mobile (so the new one is a welcome breath of fresh air), etc etc. Bottom line is, I liked it.
Best trailers at the movies = The Island and War of the Worlds.
F it.
Posted 27 Jun 2005 at 1:33 pm ¶
Chase Ransom wrote:
BTW: Anybody catch the ruling by the Supreme Court in the case of MGM vs. Grogster? They went in favor of MGM and basically opened the doors to chasing any software company that makes crap that enables peer-to-peer file swapping.
Not that I am concerned in the resolve of their resolution (since its practically impossible to enforce to a degree), but it is a matter to be discussed.
There is a lot of gray legal waters that software companies can navigate in considerable safety, but that doesnt mean that record labels and movie producers/distributors wont now flood the planet with a law suit for every file shared, and in the process start a new age of web-cat&mouse; users trying to keep the goods on the DL and out of sight of mainstream deadheaders like the ones using grogster, kazaa and other stuff of the sort.
Bit-torrent beware
F it
Posted 28 Jun 2005 at 2:37 pm ¶
Schiz Cum Snake wrote:
The movie was good, but I couldn’t see shite during the fight scenes.
Katie Holmes will probably never convince me, she just didn’t fit in this movie. And that kid was annoying.
Posted 28 Jun 2005 at 2:42 pm ¶
Chase Ransom wrote:
Katie was no good. Even their attempt to boost her value by putting her in a satin blouse at the end with eye piercing nipple action, wasnt good enough.
She wont make it to the next one for sure.
F it.
Posted 28 Jun 2005 at 3:19 pm ¶
alvarete wrote:
I am lazy, and I haven’t written my promised review. I might today, but I got some booty that deserves my attention, so I’m sorry, but booty > ugly posters on my webpage.
Heh.
Posted 28 Jun 2005 at 4:59 pm ¶
Chase Ransom wrote:
This place is falling apart, so I sure hope that booty issue worked itself out and was worth it.
Isnt life a bitch. I tell you. Vagina simply does this to a man. Oh what a magical and progressive world would we live in if men werent plagued with the continuous hunt for vagina. We’d probably already have flying cars, space colonies, cures for all kinds of stuff, fully functional slave robots, etc etc.
The fact that we only use 15% of our brains is probably a good indication of how much of our attention is diverted to the vagina chase. Lord have mercy.
Can I get an “Amen”?
F it.
Posted 30 Jun 2005 at 1:25 pm ¶
Chalito wrote:
Amen!
The flying car would be so sweet….but it would help me get a lot more vagina!
Posted 30 Jun 2005 at 3:22 pm ¶
Chalito wrote:
sorry, i meant: bet it would help me get a lot more vagina!
Posted 30 Jun 2005 at 3:23 pm ¶
Chalito wrote:
I have some inquiries Al about that booty (notice I’m not using the term “vagina” anymore)….I read in today’s paper that gay marriage is now legal in spain….anything you wanna tell us???
Posted 30 Jun 2005 at 3:28 pm ¶
Chase Ransom wrote:
That has to be the longest booty call in history. This place is falling apart.
I am stunned with disgust because both MTV and VH1 cut the final solo of Comfortably Numb in the Live Aid concert. What are those people thinking? Yeah, but we HAD to see the full set by Maroon 5? The world is coming to an end.
Another 48 hours and I am calling the cops in Spain and declaring Alvarete as a missing person. Dibs on his pink Ipod if they find him dead in a dumpster behind the tranny night club “Twist”.
F it
Posted 02 Jul 2005 at 11:46 pm ¶
alvarete wrote:
Holy shit, Pink Floyd still rules the planet. I watched it live on the internet, then watched the broadcast on TV 20 minutes later. Here’s to a reunion tour…
Posted 03 Jul 2005 at 12:22 am ¶
In(di)go wrote:
and you run and you run, catch up with the sun but its sinking
and racing around it’ll come up behind you again
the sun is the same in a relative way but you’re older
shorter of breath and one day closer to death
Posted 11 Jul 2005 at 11:39 pm ¶
alvarete wrote:
Oh yeah, I heartily recommend Les Claypool’s Frog Brigade Live Frogs Vol. 2. A complete live cover of Pink Floyd’s “Animals”.
I
Posted 11 Jul 2005 at 11:44 pm ¶
In(di)go wrote:
you guys may also wanna check out “the dub side of the moon” by easy-star allstars… great stuff
Posted 15 Jul 2005 at 6:17 pm ¶