You are my sunshine… at alvarete.net

You are my sunshine…

August rocks. Specifically, August in Madrid rocks. August is officially “vacation month”, so the city is half empty, you can actually sit down in the subway, and the people in the streets are almost exclusively of the tourist kind. While on the subject, when I win the lottery I intend to pay off the people in charge of law-making, and have the public nudity law changed so it’s only legal to be nude if you’re in your 20s, female, and hot. We will have to appoint a special commitee who would be in charge of making sure chicks are, you know, legal to be topless. We won’t pay them much, but somehow I think this won’t be a problem. It would have a conservative name, like “TIT PATROL”, or “Yama Momma”…

I can see the “t-shirts” already.

Being in August, people have incorporated a new question in their colloquial “I don’t give a crap about you, but we’re both in the elevator and this silence is uncomfortable” repertoire: “So, are you taking any time off in August?”. I always answer “No, I’m staying here. That way, since you’re all leaving, it’s like getting two months vacation every year”. They just look at me like they’re thinking “Who is this crazy fellow? Hacking the vacation system. I’m so upset, I think I’ll go to my desk and make myself a couple of millions”.

Besides the fact that the office is half empty, that we’re working 09h00 to 16h00, and that, since everybody else follows this system, there isn’t much business, per se, to go around, work has taken a very leisurely tone this days. We have a new table football machine in the rest area (The HR department felt that, since it was the only thing that appeared in the “Suggestions” mailbox, they might as well get it done), and a new 42″ Plasma TV with Satellite. At 14h00 we go upstairs, eat lunch while watching the Simpsons, and play a few matches.

Leave the office in August?

F’n

Way.

Trackbacks & Pings

Vaniqa. on 26 Aug 2008 at 11:29 am

Vaniqa….

Vaniqa….

Comments

Chase Ransom wrote:

I wonder how old this tradition is? As I understand it France works on the same principles and takes vacation also during August. I dont know about England.

I find it fascinating, provocative (who wouldnt love it), but on the other hand, I dont understand how a country, nevermind a continent, can function properly when about half of its workforce goes AWOL for a month. Having worked most of my life in the slavish american system where vacation is something you take once every three years for a week or two at most and that is IF, it just doesnt compute in my wee brain.

There must be tons of tourists that go to Europe to shop and stuff, and then realize in horror “Hey, everything is closed!!”. What a pisser. Where do all these people go to? What happens if I refuse to take my vacations and just continue to come to work? Does this continent-wide vacation coincide with the kids school vacation?

I’ll make note in my little black book of evil that if I ever decide to take over the world I should do it in August since it seems I would get minimal opposition from Europe at least.

F it.

Posted 03 Aug 2005 at 5:28 pm ¶
dorothy hale wrote:

I wish I had that kind of rest area at work….

On the other hand, asking for vacations out of season is the best you can do….even here it works…

Posted 03 Aug 2005 at 6:55 pm ¶
Johann wrote:

That rest area sounds really nice. I wish, we had something like that. I just came back from vacations. 5 days off spent 2 on a plane. I was lucky two get that. Anyway enjoy the tourist and the space at the office. Get Inga und Helga out to a bar.

Posted 03 Aug 2005 at 9:16 pm ¶
alvarete wrote:

I mean, tourist shit is open, but for office workers, it’s hell or high water, “I HAVE TO GET OUT OF THIS PLACE!”. I guess if enough people realized they’re better off not leaving this particular month then August would just be a regular month, and that would suck for me… ;)

Posted 03 Aug 2005 at 9:39 pm ¶
Steven wrote:

Hehe, that type of silence is the best, it is the perfect place where those evil jokes on people take place, the combination of being uncomfortable and annoyed gives greats result. Check it out, I am in the bus with a friend, the bus is getting pack, and the silence is present you know, I am sweating balls and the bus is getting packed and packed, anyway this chinese guy gets in the bus, everything is fine till he smiled and showed me that M&M smile, but the problem is that motherfucker is not eating no chocolate. Now everytime my friend says “please Lee give a smile” i cry. Thank you Lee.

Posted 04 Aug 2005 at 6:41 am ¶
alvarete wrote:

Re: packed buses. European BO?

True as fucking hell. Riding on the subway on a hot saturday is like getting punched in the nose by an angry turd. Repeatedly.

Posted 04 Aug 2005 at 8:41 am ¶
Chito wrote:

I fucking hate uncomfortable silences. Can´t stand it. Makes me feel stupid. Tarantino hit the nail on the head in Pulp Fiction with:
Mia: Don’t you hate that?
Vincent: What?
Mia: Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it’s necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?

Maybe that´s the reason why I only “yak about bullshit” in order to not feel stupid, but it only makes things worse, cuz people end up thinking that I´m stupid thanks to all the bullshit that comes out of my mouth. (Ask all the people that know about the first impression the had of me.) But I found out a good way to avoid uncomfortable silence; wear headphones. I just can´t leave my house without my trusty disc-man. It helps me to avoid all the small talk I might end up having with people in elevators, bus stops, movie lines, etc.

Fuck, my brain´s busted. Got no more to say. That´s what happen when you´re a “first time caller, long time listener”. Also being kinda drunk doesn´t help.

Posted 05 Aug 2005 at 8:11 am ¶
alvarete wrote:

Plus, headphones are the ultimate “Get the fuck away” tool. Whenever you’re in a group with somebody you don’t like and he starts yaking about stupid shit, you just look at him, sigh, put on your headphones, and walk away.

Posted 05 Aug 2005 at 10:47 am ¶
Steven wrote:

Hahaha, disconnecton works great, just put the headphones on, even when the battery of the player had been empty for hours, of course, if someone comes to you and says something, just lift ur upper lip, in combo with the eyebrow and insert a really loud “WHAT?.

Posted 05 Aug 2005 at 7:12 pm ¶