When in Rome
“But I’m not in Rome, Doug.”
I am in a rush.
Things have kind of picked up in the work department. And by “picked up”, I mean “all hell broke loose”. I was stupid enough to figure that since we were still under budget for the year, we could use a number of projects, like server expansions, comms room improvements and such. You know, a greatest hits list so that my manager could pick his favorite tunes and say “Let’s push these two forward, for great justice!”. Imagine my surprise when he said “OK”.
“Hm, OK to which one?”
“Ok to all of them”
“Fuck.”
(That was muttered under my breath)
A week ago, I was wondering whether my work end-of-year needed more cowbell, and now I’m ass-deep in stuff, not to mention, user idiocy is at an all-time high. I hope this is a seasonal thing, or things might get ugly.
Oh yeah, new post at Sin Imprenta. Go me! I’m experimenting with shit over there, so don’t hold it against me.
Yesterday I was speaking with Henny from Middle Office, and she told me that her name is, in fact, Heineken. I proclaimed her most awesome person ever, and right afterwards I had to explain to her what “awesome” was. That should tell you something about her age. Still, Heineken?
I’d tap that.
You know, tap, beer?
I kill myself.
Today, I would like to play the “Awesome, not awesome” game. I’ll make a list, you say if it’s awesome or not. We can play the “retarded, not retarded” game later, if enough users with retarded comments show up.
George Michael
The new X-men 3 trailer
Kelsey Grammer as Beast
King Kong
Jack Black
The Beatles
John Lennon
A chick named Heineken
More cowbell
Oasis
Christmas
Sin Imprenta
Christmas presents
Demetrios Papacharalambous (Real name, works in my office)
2005 movie season
Scarlett Johansson
Softcore porn
Blu wrote:
-George Michael:not awesome…defintely not, you put that up to make fun of Chalito once again. Bad boy.
-X3 trailer: fucking awesome, my only question is where the fuck is nightcrawler you fuckwit of a boy rattner? Oh and does angel get his metal wings at end? And if at the end of X2 yo´re supposed to believe that Jean Grey becomes Phoenix, why the fuck show her on the trailer, what´s the point? I think Magneto does naughty things to Wolverine´s adamantium bones….hehehe. Juggernaut rocks.
-Frasier as The Beast: Just like other grade A actors of the burgeoning trilogy, I’m sure he’ll do a good job, it’s still werid to know that’s him. That dry humored british guy that was on after seinfeld? Yep him, hes a big blue scientist now.
-King Kong: Kinda Awesome. Two weeks ago i hated the trailer and everything to do with that movie, even though people are starting to call Jackson, Midas. Suddenly a week ago i got Kongitis, even watched the original again, for all intents and purposes, i very much enjoyed it, and now i’ll probably go see it, but not on opening night, this ain’t LOTR. BTW have you seen Jackson lately? wow
-Jack Black: Awesome. School of Rock, check. HIgh Fidelity, triple check. The rest pretty much suck, and Tenacios D makes me laugh. Envy sucked and so on. So answer me this: What happensd when you put Jack Black on a leading role? School of Rock being he exception that cofirms. Sub-question: is it in fact unfair to criticize a formerly great artist for his latter day sins, is it better to burn out or fade away? He was in Demolition man….
The Beatles: Sorta Awesome. I can´t do it. I sit down and lsiten to The White Album while I´m thinking of listening to Arcade Fire. How can you not like The Beatles? They invented most of the bands you liten to today! Not the point.
John Lennon: Awesome. He was killed by a guy who read Catcher in the Rye, come on, not many poeple go down like that. In any case, he was a visionary, he became a legend, he is an intrical part in the creation of Rock…you get the point.
Henny: So cute…i mean, Awesome. But here´s the thing i have a friend who named his daughter Janis Joplin Ramirez, JOplin being her second name, and his friend named his son Brucili, after Bruce Lee. Portoviejo rocks.
More cowbell: Not so awesome. Pretty much swelf explanatory.
Oasis: fucking not awesome. Worst band to step on the face of the earth. NOt true, that would be Bananarama if just for the horrible name. Maybe i don´t hate Oasis, just the musical moron twins.
XMas: Sometimes awesome. Call me shallow, cold hearted, whatever, i like Xmas cause i get to see my home away from home side of the family, but i hate the extreme glee involved with the event. The worst part is if your family ahppens to be catholic you HAVE to go to sunday mass and xmas mass, and sing and be happy too. I just don{t like the idea of a holiday obligating me to be happy.
XMAS presents: Sometimes awesome. Yea it´s nice to get stuff. Who doesn´t like it? Its the 80´s bathign trunks that your aunt gives you and you have to open it in front of the entire family and your mum looks at you as if her fiery eyes were saying “It´s the thought that counts”, that puts a damper on thigns, but hey what hell. Whoever says they don´t like recieving shit is FUCKING LIAR!
Demetrio: Awesome. I guess if he went to school in greece, ok, but if he went to a public school in spain, l.a., or pretty much anywhere else, his life was hell. It makes me think what i wanna name my children, poor things, they´re already my offspring, isn´t that enough? I have to name them too?
2004: ? Did you mean 2006? Awesome. Anyway, 2004 gave us great films, Return of the King, and….that was a good one, and remember the one one about the guy with the girl, i liked that one too, great ending.
Scarlett Johansson: too awesome to be real. She´s perfect…she´s this geenrations platinum blonde, only she can actually act. If you´ve never seen a Marylin Monroe flick, stop now, neever do it, suddenly she becmoes a joke. She´s even beautiful in Girl with a Pearl Earring, when she´s supposed to be ugly. Oh yea and she can act….so i hear. Her panty scenes in Lost in Transalation: Awesome, i might´ve been a better person had i not seen those.
Softcore porn: Not awesome. Speaking of porn, Watch Inside Deep Throat, the documenary not the porn flick. Back to softcore porn. It´s like having a no sausage, just onion please hot dog. In hardcore porn, at least the stories are there because it would be stupid to just show sex and then some more sex, so you give these people lives, it is supposed to eb a joke. But in softcore, the stories are bad, written by guys who think it´s the best shit written since Barbarella, but you´re supposed to watch it, and then when it gets to the good stuff, what good stuff? Softcore porn is good for a laugh, all topping.
Posted 13 Dec 2005 at 4:35 pm ¶
Chalito wrote:
Why da fuk do we continue to top every list with GM??? please explain!, yes, I liked his music a lot in my teens (yes, you were older but I was still in my teens)….anyway, here’s my answer to the list:
George Michael - won’t answer
The new X-men 3 trailer - haven’t seen it
Kelsey Grammer as Beast - what???
King Kong -awsome
Jack Black -awsome
The Beatles -super awsome
John Lennon -awsome
A chick named Heineken - mmm, probably gets old very quickly….let’s say quasi-awsome
More cowbell -awsome
Oasis -awsome…Noel will always rule the f@#%ng planet!
Christmas -what xmas has become these days, NOT awsome
Sin Imprenta -not awsome jejeje
Christmas presents
Demetrios Papacharalambous (Real name, works in my office) -uh?
2004 movie season -not awsome
Scarlett Johansson -awsome
Softcore porn -awsome
CG
Posted 13 Dec 2005 at 5:32 pm ¶
Chase Ransom wrote:
Interesting concept.
George Michael: If given the only choices of awesome and not awesome, I guess I have to say awesome - the dude has talent. Wont bash the guy just cuz Chalito has a boner for him.
New X-men Trailer: cant comment havent seen it.
Kelsey as Beast: Havent seen - dont know. Btw, he aint british.
King Kong: Not awesome - never really liked the original. I’ve seen recent images of Jackson and if you are refering to the fact that it looks like he finally gave birth and thus let go of about 200 extra pounds, yeah I’ve noticed.
Jack Black: Awesome. Pitfalls in a movie career I dont think should dimish the persona. If the questions were “Jack Balck in Envy”, then my answer would be different.
The Beatles: Not awesome TO ME. I listen to their tunes in the same way I listen to freaking Hombres G. I dont find their contribution to music so revolutionary. They had talent but it came with a boat load of hype.
John Lennon: Brilliant. Awesome I suppose for his idealism and creativity - I will look the other way this time in his taste of women.
The Heineken chick: I agree with chalito. It’s an awesome with an expiration date on it. How many times can you use the frase “get your hands off my heiny” when she is around and still be funny?
More Cowbell: So fucking awesome there should be a monument to it in every municipality on the planet.
Oasis: SO not Awesome. I see Chalito has a rivalry going in his boxers between George and Noel (now we know what a threesome for Chalito looks like). They have contributed as much to music as I have contributed to the Association of United Morons for Anti-Abortion around the world.
Christmas: Not awesome after you reach a certain age. Since it doesnt feel the same it just becomes depressing.
Christmas Gifts: Depends. Awesome if its what you like and not from someone you dislike. Otherwise there is that disgusting necesity to give a gift in return to someone you really dont like and never would normally give a gift to, etc etc. You know the scenario.
Demetrios Papacharalambous: Im sorry. Not awesome.
2004 Movie Season: I have no idea.
Scarlett Johansson: This is a joke right? As a fan, I am offended that her awesomeness is even in question. Her awesomensitivityness knows no bounds. Next question.
Softcore Porn: Not awesome. If you are going to watch porn, go all the way. If you are going to smoke, dont smoke lights. Dont drink light beer BECAUSE its light. Diet Coke? Drink water why dont you. You cant be a fan of More Cowbell and be a supporter of Softcore Porn.
F it
Posted 13 Dec 2005 at 6:58 pm ¶
Chito wrote:
George Micheal: Awesome, but only the old stuff.
X3 trailer: Awesome. I fuckin’ like it. I brough back my lost faith in Rattner
Kesly as Beast: Awesome. Couldn’t see anybody else for that part. Make-up and shit removed, I think Kelsy pretty much has Beast’s edge.
King Kong: Awesome at first. Ever since I bought the ticket (like a week and a half ago) my hype has diminished. Yeah, Jackson looks like he recently had a child. Thank god he doesn’t look like Fat Bastard at the end of Goldmember.
Jack Black: Awesome. Like him in every movie he’s been as a suporting role, thus, Enemy of the State and the likes doesn’t count. Haven´t seen Envy and probably will never do.
The Beatles: Awesome but TOO MUCH hype behind them. I can’t stand the Beatlemania.
Lennon: Awesome, but only when he was in the Beatles. I dunno, I kinda hate his “we should all get along” thing.
Heineken chick: Awesome, but as said before, with a due date.
More Cowbell: Dunno what that is. =/
Oasis: Not awesome at all. Fuckin’ hate them. Can’t stand the moron brothers. But, I do like one song. Only one: Fucking it the Bushes. Why? Because they don’t sing and, as an added bonus, it was in Snatch.
X-Mas: Not awesome. Get more depressed that in my b-day.
Demetrio: Not awesome.
2005 movie season: Neither awesome, nor not awesome. It’s a shame, but I didn’t go much to the movies this year. There wasn’t anything looking foward to like in other years. Like LOTR, Spidey, etc. All that was, is as follows:
Revenge of the Sith, wich was incredibly bad. Batman Begins was so-so. War of the World was a ok. Sin City is not as good as everybody things. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was far better than I expected. The Island was kinda cool.
Scarlett Johansson: Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. She’s the reason I went to see The Island. I fucking love her. Guess if I’ll meet all I’ll loose my cool (if there’s any) and will mumble, drool and act like an idiot. But it’s ok. It happens to me everytime I meet a hot chick. :p
Posted 13 Dec 2005 at 10:47 pm ¶
Blind Willie wrote:
1) Not awesome. Guy’s pretty talented but not in a way I care.
2) X-Men 3: Not a fucking clue. Sounds pretty awesome though. Kelsey Grammar? Great guy, but his awesomeness is in the hands of the script writer.
03) King Kong: Not awesome. Don’t care much for the big ape. Never did, never will.
04) Jack Black: Not quite as awesome as Will Ferrel, but awesome alright.
05) Borderline awesome-to-the-core.
06) Awesome musician, borderline annoying-as-hell personality. His fans, specially hard core fans, deserve to burn in eternal damnation along with him.
07) Her awesomeness depends on how well built she is.
08) Absolutely not awesome. Cowbells should be banned from any music form outside of Salsa.
09) Not awesome. Don’t hold nothing against them, but still their waaaay far from awesome.
10) Not awesome.
11) Ditto. Even my own gifts makes me feel kind of depressed.
12) Demetrious has to be funny as hell if he wants to be under my “awesome” list.
13) No comment. I can’t even remember the movies of this week.
14) I won’t, even under heavy torture, dispute the general consensus.
15) Awesome. Let’s keep it straight: Playboy Channel, and specially late night cable (Cinemax) movies are NOT soft porn.
Posted 13 Dec 2005 at 11:25 pm ¶
Blind Willie wrote:
P.S. Sin Imprenta: Awesome, but not even remotely close to the awesomeness of her owner.
Posted 13 Dec 2005 at 11:27 pm ¶
Chase Ransom wrote:
I am getting the sense most ppl here dont have a clue about what the “More Cowbell” reference stands for. You dont know what you are missing.
F it
Posted 14 Dec 2005 at 12:55 am ¶
Blind Willie wrote:
I guess you’re right, I am really clueless. I thought the cowbell remark was made because a lot of “alternative” bands use them nowadays, and it makes me sick.
Posted 14 Dec 2005 at 2:30 am ¶
Chito wrote:
I left out two.
Sinimpreta: Same as Blind Willie.
Softcore porn: Not awesome. If you’re gonna do something wrong, do it right.
Posted 14 Dec 2005 at 3:23 am ¶
Chito wrote:
Pleaso oh, please, will anybody be kind enough to enlight me about the cowbell. I know what a cowbell is, but I am totally clueless about what you mean by it. Someby please end my missery.
Thanx
Posted 14 Dec 2005 at 3:26 am ¶
towkits wrote:
La hija escarlata de Johann totally awesome. Just way to good looking.
Posted 14 Dec 2005 at 1:37 pm ¶
Chase Ransom wrote:
Since I am not apt for some things, all I can tell you to do is copy and past this address and you will be enlightened.
http://gorillamask.net/morecowbell.shtml
Now I will cross my fingers and hope my guardian angel Blood will fix that to be an actual link.
F it.
Posted 14 Dec 2005 at 2:19 pm ¶
Chase Ransom wrote:
Yay
Posted 14 Dec 2005 at 2:20 pm ¶
Chalito wrote:
one big Q, I said more cowbell was awsome….i was refering to the SNL sketch about Blue Oyster Cult (Will Ferrel)….am I correct???
Posted 14 Dec 2005 at 4:16 pm ¶
Chito wrote:
More Cowbell: Totally awesome. I was laughing like an idiot. I love it.
One more thing: Pops, you the man!!! Thanx for that link.
Posted 14 Dec 2005 at 5:52 pm ¶
Chase Ransom wrote:
Chalito: you are correct
Chito: You should know that for a fact ever since you went to Iceland my boy
F it
Posted 14 Dec 2005 at 6:01 pm ¶
Chito wrote:
Chase: I know. I was labouring the obvious. =)
Posted 15 Dec 2005 at 12:31 am ¶
Chito wrote:
I just watched King Kong and will only say this: It’s fucking awesome. I loved every bit of it, but won’t go into details. Just watch it. It has my seal of approval.
Posted 15 Dec 2005 at 12:36 am ¶
edipa wrote:
George Michael, don`t know what`s worse, him or the people who enjoy his music (just kidding, I don`t know crap about this matter)
The new x-men 3 trailer, sounds awesome, I liked the others
Jack Black F awesome!
the beatles and Lennon, ….
A chick named Heineken, a person that has the name of a beer and isn`t from my hometown, Awesome!!!
Oasis, I not sure, I like them, (sometimes a lot) but I have to say not cut for awesome
Christmas , if my mon is cooking AWESOME
sin imprenta, not awesome I`ll say, but the messages of Blind willie and chito :) … I think sin imprenta has awesome visitors, (I always say this) I`m overwhelm
christmas presents, not awesome for years know
Demetrios, Awesome
2005 movie season Not awesome
Scarlett Johansson, Awesome
Posted 15 Dec 2005 at 3:54 am ¶
alvarete wrote:
I apologize for the George Michael troll, it was obviously a sharp stick pointed at chalito’s balls. It got at least one honest comment, so, awesome.
I believe More Cowbell got accepted into the urban dictionary of something something, along with “Doh!” and “Six pack”. I’m glad that somebody is taking care of enriching the language and dumbing down popular culture so people can “get it”.
Posted 15 Dec 2005 at 3:51 pm ¶
Captain Charisma wrote:
Jeez.. Im a lil’ late so hopefully no one will read this..
Anyway.. your answers hooked me so:
George Michael: Ricky Martin
The new X-men 3 trailer: Havent seen it
Kelsey Grammer as Beast: Awesome. I honestly think he will rock.. is he still sober?
King Kong: Booo
Jack Black: Awesome. Envy and Shallow Hal however…
The Beatles: Waaaaaay overrated, right place, right time. Enjoy their music like hell.. but it just doesnt seem right to worship them. Not awesome
John Lennon: See: Beatles, The.
A chick named Heineken: Overdue
More cowbell: Too lazy to check on Chase’s link.
Oasis: Jesus Anthony Christ someone kill these Beatles’ rejectment. So NOT awesome.
Christmas: Bleh.
Sin Imprenta: Awesome. Borderline stupid and frenetic. But edipa surely kicks ass. I miss my groupies though.
Christmas presents: Havent got one good present for 4 years now. Even the ones that I buy for myself suck. I feel the pain of people I buy shit for..
Demetrios Papacharalambous (Real name, works in my office): Phone home! Phone home!. So not awesome.
2005 movie season: Dont hit the movie theaters a lot.. I can talk about the DVD season. Scrubs, the Live 8 DVD.. nevermind..
Scarlett Johansson: Words dont do justice
Softcore porn: Not awesome. I used to have both porn channels (for free.. Im not that needy) Playboy = (WAY) Better chicks. Venus = All the way.
I was surfing the channels (uh-huh) one day and I realized that they took away Playboy, now that “service” is only available for digital boxes, which is free, but I dont want it ’cause muh super-channel-hacking-system wont work anymore. I didnt sweat a bit.
If they take Venus away from me.. on the other hand..
I feel so lonely…
Posted 29 Dec 2005 at 6:53 pm ¶