X-men 3 Review (Sort of)
I won’t lie: I was really stoked about X-men 3. Mind you, this was back when Bryan Singer was still directing it. Then, Brett Ratner came in to replace him, Mr. Singer having departed for the kryptonite-green hills of Superman. As soon as the replacement was announced, I lost all hope for the movie. And then, of course, the Brett Ratner special, as I’m calling it, surfaced: a christmas card with him in full Wolverine garb.
I just shifted my hope from X-men to Superman, figuring that Bryan Singer is in it, and he’s got (at least) respect for the properties he touches. Then, last Friday, X-men 3 hit theaters, and reality sunk in:
Brett Ratner is a hack.
The movie’s not that offensive. For reference, my brother didn’t waste any time in proclaiming it “The best super-hero movie, ever”. To me, it was 96 minutes (yes, it’s about as long as 2 CSI episodes back-to-back) of wasted opportunities. Brett Ratner is a decent enough Bryan Singer clone, but it feels hollow. It’s like he was trying to hard to copy the look and feel, and then let other stuff get out of hand, like, say, a decent story? If you’ve ever read The Dark Phoenix Saga (watch out for the Chris Claremont cameo!), the movie will be downright offensive to you, as Famke Janssen’s role as The Phoenix boils down to looking like a teen cutter, and, oh, not much else. Except of course when she does that (Spoiler suppressed, blah blah blah), which of course will become the fanboy’s excuse for her needing to be in the film, and then goes back to brooding around and looking like she needs some sleep.
My main problem with the film is that halfways through it becomes abundantly clear that Brett Ratner has no idea on how to keep the movie grounded, let alone make us feel attached to the characters. The franchise has increasingly become “Wolverine and his X-men friends”, for one, but that formula works because Wolverine had some emotional ballast to anchor himself against. In this movie, the ballast is gone, and the movie spins around wildly to find another focal point, which it never does. Ratner’s answer is bombastic enough: We get major mutant-on-mutant action scenes, but it still left me feeling dissatisfied. It’s a movie that does its best to entertain you, for sure, but one that I won’t bother revisiting. Considering how many times I’ve watched other superheroe movies, that should give you an idea of how disappointed I am. Here’s to hoping that Bryan Singer makes up for leaving with an awesome Superman movie.
edipa wrote:
it´s kind of sad … Xmen II rulezzzz …
Posted 28 May 2006 at 7:50 pm ¶
Schiz Cum Snake wrote:
It’s just caotic and rushed; entertaining though. They put so many mutant characters (some of them I’m not sure they existed in the comic) and have all these plots, subplots, underplots, closures, and horseshit, and gay pride inuendos, and weed, and all sort of stuff in the opus; but don’t care to develop them enough for the audience to afford to give a shit.
What’s up with all these corny lame mutants with too much screen time and the cool characters who had a great potencial but were wasted? The writers only gave them silly one liners like “I’m the Juggernaut, bitch”. Pathetic.
Posted 28 May 2006 at 9:40 pm ¶
http://reelfanatic.blogspot.com wrote:
I agree that is abundantly clear that Ratboy didn’t bother to learn anything at all about the X-Men mythology before taking on this crapfest .. Just way too mutants and unresolved storylines for me!
Posted 29 May 2006 at 1:52 pm ¶
alvarete wrote:
By your review, I see you have the same issues as me. At first glance, your review is kinder than your actual opinion of the movie. To me, its worth offense is that, unlike its predecessors, it fails the fanboy litmus test. True, you can’t please everybody, but X2 and Spider-man 2 came damn close to. X3 is a movie that I probably won’t recommend, but I won’t shun anybody that watches it and says he likes it. I’ll probably just point them to the Dark Phoenix Saga, and then shun them for missing out on that excellent piece of comic book history.
Posted 29 May 2006 at 2:52 pm ¶
Chase Ransom wrote:
Well I havent seen the new X-men yet but, today while browsing through cable I found and watched Superman (the movie of course). Allow me to digress from the subject of this post now.
Bryan Singer did a very good job with the first two X-men movies. But after watching today again Superman (for the millionth time), I dont know that he will be able to surpass the original. The movie is fabulous.
Truly the best (IMO) comic book/superhero movie ever made. Any hints as to how the new Superman movie is going to one-up the old Superman movie? I am very concerned that we are headed for a big dissapointment (and I speak I think for anyone over 25 years old since anyone younger probably didnt give a crap about the old Superman movie).
Somebody give me some reassurance please.
POW!
Posted 31 May 2006 at 2:10 am ¶
Chito wrote:
Richard Donner’s Superman is, for me at least, the cornerstone of every superhero movie; not because is the best, but because of it’s construction. Instead of making an out-of-touch-with-reallity (within the movie) Superman, they made it more human. They took the essence of the comic and transladed succesfully it into another medium. Donner’s Superman was the first supehero movie I saw, and it gave goosebumbs when I saw him fly for the first time (it still does). But Superman was not the first superhero I “met”; that was Spider-man, thus, for me, the best superhero movie ever is (you guessed it) Spider-man 2. I still love Donner’s Superman movie, and kinda agree with Chase that with Singer’s Superman we might be headed for a big dissapointment.
And I also strongly agree that anybody younger that 25 don’t give a crap about Donner’s Superman.
Posted 01 Jun 2006 at 5:40 pm ¶
ChaseRansom wrote:
Spiderman 2 better than Superman? How dare you, sir!
I admit the “hot chick” of the movie in Spiderman is hotter, never did like Margot Kidder - but I disagree wholeheartedly that Spiderman could be better than Superman.
Thats it Chito; its on. You and me, November 25th 2010, you pick the place. Why so far in the future, that is the first available spot I have for “kicking some serious ass” according to my Outlook calendar (do I get paid for this product placement?).
POW!
Posted 01 Jun 2006 at 8:17 pm ¶
Chito wrote:
Shit, don’t think I can’t that date. Gotta a date with Scarlett Johansson. But if it’s cancelled (most likely) I’ll call you. What’s your phone number?
Posted 01 Jun 2006 at 9:57 pm ¶
ChaseRansom wrote:
Thats complete bullshit. I have a threesome scheduled on that day with Scarlett and Elisha Cuthbert. Now its really on!
Uh, my phone number? Are you trying to surreptitiously hit on me? (That word has to earn me AT LEAST 100 points god damnit!)
POW!
Posted 01 Jun 2006 at 11:32 pm ¶