X-men 3 Review (Sort of)
I won’t lie: I was really stoked about X-men 3. Mind you, this was back when Bryan Singer was still directing it. Then, Brett Ratner came in to replace him, Mr. Singer having departed for the kryptonite-green hills of Superman. As soon as the replacement was announced, I lost all hope for the movie. And then, of course, the Brett Ratner special, as I’m calling it, surfaced: a christmas card with him in full Wolverine garb.
I just shifted my hope from X-men to Superman, figuring that Bryan Singer is in it, and he’s got (at least) respect for the properties he touches. Then, last Friday, X-men 3 hit theaters, and reality sunk in:
Brett Ratner is a hack.
The movie’s not that offensive. For reference, my brother didn’t waste any time in proclaiming it “The best super-hero movie, ever”. To me, it was 96 minutes (yes, it’s about as long as 2 CSI episodes back-to-back) of wasted opportunities. Brett Ratner is a decent enough Bryan Singer clone, but it feels hollow. It’s like he was trying to hard to copy the look and feel, and then let other stuff get out of hand, like, say, a decent story? If you’ve ever read The Dark Phoenix Saga (watch out for the Chris Claremont cameo!), the movie will be downright offensive to you, as Famke Janssen’s role as The Phoenix boils down to looking like a teen cutter, and, oh, not much else. Except of course when she does that (Spoiler suppressed, blah blah blah), which of course will become the fanboy’s excuse for her needing to be in the film, and then goes back to brooding around and looking like she needs some sleep.
My main problem with the film is that halfways through it becomes abundantly clear that Brett Ratner has no idea on how to keep the movie grounded, let alone make us feel attached to the characters. The franchise has increasingly become “Wolverine and his X-men friends”, for one, but that formula works because Wolverine had some emotional ballast to anchor himself against. In this movie, the ballast is gone, and the movie spins around wildly to find another focal point, which it never does. Ratner’s answer is bombastic enough: We get major mutant-on-mutant action scenes, but it still left me feeling dissatisfied. It’s a movie that does its best to entertain you, for sure, but one that I won’t bother revisiting. Considering how many times I’ve watched other superheroe movies, that should give you an idea of how disappointed I am. Here’s to hoping that Bryan Singer makes up for leaving with an awesome Superman movie.
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