Superman Returns, Gets Reviewed
When the Superman movie came back to life years ago, word on the street was that it couldn’t be good. The first “serious” script made it to the internet, and soon everybody was furious about how bad it was. It completely ignored al the Superman backstory, and rewrote it for the Yugi-Oh generation. About that time I basically detached myself from the movie. Even if the first Superman movie has its share of problems, Christopher Reeve as Superman is one of my favorite on-screen interpretations, ever, and you can’t deny Gene Hackman’s genius as Lex Luthor.
Then Superman Returns started happening. WB tossed the “reimagining” script, brought in Bryan Singer of X-men I & II fame, and pushed it forward. Eventually, script reviews started popping up everywhere, with people saying the new script was fantastic. Either WB was making all the right moves, or they decided that they didn’t want to risk a 20-year, $300+ million summer movie tanking. After watching the movie, and reading all the positive “advance reviews” that came out the week before the premiere, I can tell you: the internet “sneak review of an advance screening” is dead. Do you really think WB will let Harry Knowles from Ain’t It Cool News badmouth their summer baby? How about dark_scyon_69, one of AICN’s “anonymous tipsters” who “snuck into a press release, watched the movie and OMFG! It blew me away”?
I’ll say it again: the era of the “scoop” is dead. It may not all be studio propaganda, but after watching Superman Returns and having reality sink in, it sure feels like it.
It’s obvious that a Superman movie will have a lot to say. Think about it: Superman may well be (besides Jesus) the most recognizable fiction character in the world. The biggest problem is that Superman Returns tries to go ahead and say it all, and cram it into a two-and-a-half hour monster that starts feeling pointless about 30 minutes into the proceedings. It’s a new origin story, it’s a franchise reboot, it’s a superhero movie, it’s an action flick, it’s a chick-flick, it’s a family drama! With so much crammed into it, it’s no surprise that the movie had to suffer somehow, and the first victim is the story. It’s even worse given that the one story that you get closure for, which is the eternal Superman-Lex Luthor conflict, is also the least rewarding. We know Lex Luthor is no match for Superman, but here his world-domination scheme is even more harebrained than usual. Yes, he wants to make money selling land in his new continent. I’m fairly sure there are much more lucrative uses for Kryptonian technology which wouldn’t even involve that much of a high-profile. For all the great characterization we get for Superman (I think this movie explores more angles of the Superman persona, and that’s always interesting to see), we get the same tired villain with the same tired motivation: money. Their confrontation is surprisingly anti-climactic as well: we know Superman isn’t going to die from getting Kryptonited in the ass. Even worse, that’s used as en excuse for 30 pointless minutes of movie which could’ve been better spent elsewhere.
That’s not to say the movie is a total failure. Brandon Routh works as Superman, his Christopher Reeve impersonation is a bit obvious when he’s portraying Clark Kent, but I thought he did a really good job at progressing the Superman character. I liked Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor, even though I don’t like his presence in the story, and Parker Posey looks hot in the maid costume. That said, Kate Bosworth did absolutely nothing for me. Her Lois Lane is a retread of the working mom archetype, and she’s not even that interesting to watch. I never liked Margot Kidder, either, but at least she had a take on Lois as a twitchy reporter (who I always thought had a speed addiction). James Marsden has a thankless job as the non-female, non-superpowered side of the romantic triangle, and he’s ok at that, as he’s basically there to prove himself when the time comes to save Lois, and then Superman. Now, the kid… Is he somehow related to Rupert Grint, the kid that plays Ron Weasley in Harry Potter? He looks like him before teenage ugliness hit him. There was an interesting emotional angle to be found in the son story-line, which is vaguely hinted in Superman’s father-son speech (as Superman is also adopted), but is ultimately ignored in favor of what could be the worst decision in the franchise restart. I think about how they’ll probably use the kid in the next film(s), and shudder. If there’s one plot detail that’s sure to come back and bite them in the ass, it’s the kid. It’s unnecessary, and yet another distraction in an already convoluted story.
Superman had the tickets to be a better-than-average film. Some things that I didn’t think it would get right, it did: the new Superman gets the thumbs-up from me, the score is great, and the plane action sequence is off the hook. But where’s the action? The conflict? A decent villain? Taken on its own, the movie is a decent effort, but this isn’t any movie we’re talking about: this is Superman, and it should’ve been truly spectacular. The Spider-man, X-men and Lord of the Rings movies already proved that it can be done, so no, saying that the expectations were too high doesn’t excuse Bryan Singer from this mess. Oh well, 10 months left for Spider-man 3…
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